


Safe

by WednesdayTheWriter



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, SeriouslyVirgilneedsahugthough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26332174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WednesdayTheWriter/pseuds/WednesdayTheWriter
Summary: While Thomas is stuck at home during the pandemic, Virgil begins acting strangely and far more anxious than usual. Virgil must learn to trust himself and his friends and accept that everyone messes up sometimes.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story contains a vivid description of a panic attack. Do not read if this is a trigger. Also, it is very sappy and fluffy, so don't come looking for angst and a sad ending. This story is also published on my Wattpad account (also Animalgirlmep.)

Everyone was minding their own business, or at least, as much as they could. Patton couldn’t help but occasionally take a break from watching dog videos to tell something to Roman, or ask Logan a question about what breed of puppy the dog in the video was. Roman was drawing, although he insisted that his museum-worthy art was simply “doodles.” Logan was solving a rubix cube, then scrambling it, then solving it.

And Virgil, yet again, was having a panic attack.

It wasn’t the first that week, but it was certainly the worst one. It’s bad enough that it has to be affecting the others, he thought. There wasn’t much he could do about that, however, as he physically couldn’t lift himself off the floor. His body constantly shaking wasn’t very helpful either, as it prevented him from doing anything to physically calm himself down. Thoughts raced through his head. Is Thomas okay? I’ve failed him again. Why am I even here? The others shouldn’t accept me. His eyes darted around the dark space, looking for something to hold onto. The room felt blurry, even though he could see just fine. He raised a shaking hand in front of his face and waved it back and forth. It didn’t feel like his hand. Everything felt wrong. He drew his knees up to his chest, rocking back and forth. He opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out.

“Hey, kiddo! We were just coming to check… on… you… because…” Patton trailed off as the three sides appeared and stood there awkwardly, staring at Virgil. Virgil looked at them silently. 

“Well… er…” Roman said awkwardly.

“Thomas is having a panic attack, so we wanted to see what was happening,” said Logan. “Clearly, we’ve located the source.”

“Go... go away…” croaked Virgil.

“But-” said Patton,

“You can’t be here,” said Virgil, trying and failing at steadying his voice. “Go… go check on Thomas.” 

“We should do that,” said Logan, looking around at the other sides, who were beginning to acquire black eyeshadow. Roman hesitated, then nodded.

“Yes, that would make sense.” 

For just a moment, Patton made eye contact with Virgil. Virgil gave a small nod, and Patton began to take deep breaths, sinking down with the others. 

“I’m sorry,” whispered Virgil. “I’m really sorry.”

#

“Pssst… Virgil. Come on, we need to talk!” said Patton as he, Logan, Roman, and Thomas stood in Thomas’s apartment the next day. After a few moments, Virgil appeared in his usual spot at the bottom of the stairs. 

“What do you want?” he mumbled.

“Virgil…” said Thomas, “what… what happened yesterday? That was totally outta nowhere.”

Virgil shrugged. 

“Really, what’s going on? You can’t just hide everything from us,” said Roman. Virgil stared at him for a moment, but stayed silent.

“C’mon, we only want to help!” Patton said hopefully.

“We can’t continue like this. It isn’t healthy for Thomas to be this anxious all the time. So… what’s going on?” Logan asked.

Virgil eyed the three of them, then sighed. “Is this really so new to you? I’m Anxiety. I screw everything up. End of story.”

“Oh, Vir-” Patton started.

“No,” interrupted Virgil. “I don’t need your sympathy. I don’t…” he looked at the floor, refusing to make eye contact. “I don’t deserve it.” And with that, Virgil sunk back down, putting on his hood.

“Darn it…” said Roman. 

“Well, Thomas, why don’t you take a break for today?” said Logan.

“Yeah, that… may be a good idea,” said Roman.

“Oh… okay,” said Thomas. 

The rest of them sank down slowly, looks of concern on their faces.

#

No one heard from Virgil for the rest of the day. Thomas stood in his apartment the day after, setting up the camera. When he hit record, he put on his usual smile and waved.

“Hello every-” he started, but his words caught in his throat. He felt nervous, like the camera was staring at him. “Welcome to the beginn-” he started again, but he couldn’t do it. The words wouldn’t come out. 

“What are you doing?” asked Logan as he rose up in front of the kitchen. “Just say hello to the viewers.”

“Yes, what seems to be the problem?” Roman rose up as well, looking concerned.

“You okay, Kiddo?” asked Patton, popping up.

“I… I don’t know. I think Virgil… I think something’s wrong,” said Thomas. 

“Yes, he was acting rather strangely yesterday. Why don’t you refrain from filming today and see if he calms down, and then we’ll figure out what to do from there?” said Logan.

“Oh, okay…” said Thomas. 

“Is anyone else getting, like, really intense deja vu right now?” asked Roman.

“Yeah, I am too. Hasn’t he disappeared like this before?” asked Patton.

“Yeah…” said Thomas, “but last time we knew what was causing it. This time it’s probably best to just wait it out.” 

“Shouldn’t we try getting him to come out here first?” asked Patton. “That worked last time.”

“I mean, we could try that, I guess,” said Roman. “Come on out, Virgil, we know you’re there.” 

There was no response.

“Virgil, come on. We just want to help,” said Thomas. 

The room was silent for a moment, then Virgil appeared, sitting down with his knees drawn up to his chest. He looked around the room at everyone, glaring angrily at them. His breath got faster and faster, until he eventually couldn’t handle it anymore.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?” he screamed, his voice multiplied and demonic. Everyone jumped, and Patton covered his ears, whimpering. Virgil’s eyes went wide and he slapped a hand over his mouth, then quickly sank back down and disappeared. 

“Well,” said Roman. 

“That… did not work,” said Logan.

“That was scary…” said Patton quietly, uncovering his ears. “What do we do now?”

“I suggest that we all go back to what we were doing, and Thomas takes a break. We’ll figure this out tomorrow,” said Logan.

“Logan, are you procrastinating?” asked Roman, surprised.

“No, I… yes? No…” Logan responded.

“Well, see you guys later then, I guess…” said Thomas. Everyone sunk down, leaving Thomas alone in the room yet again.

#

Patton sat in his room, clicking random buttons on a toy phone. He shouldn’t go. But… what if Virgil was still panicking? He couldn’t just leave him there. Thoughts raced around in the moral side’s head until he finally stood up.

“I have to do this,” he said. “Even if it means enduring those…” he shuddered. “Curtains.”  
Patton sunk down, forcing himself to get as anxious as possible. After a moment, he popped up in Virgil’s room. 

He slapped his hands over his ears, looking around the room. “Please don’t yell at me I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have come here I’m so sorry Virgil I-” he said in one breath.

“Shut up,” interrupted a multiplied voice from the other side of the room. Patton looked over and saw Virgil sitting there, staring into the distance. “Go away, Patton. You can’t help me.”

Patton shivered as he tried not to look at the curtains. 

“Virgil… I don’t know what… I…” He took a deep breath.

“You’re going to get hurt if you stay in here for too long,” said Virgil. “You know that.”

“Of course,” said Patton. “I know.”

“Then why did you come here?” asked Virgil. He didn’t exactly sound angry, he just sounded… distant.

“Because it’s important,” said Patton, slightly more firmly than he meant to. 

“Why? Because I’m hurting Thomas?” 

“Well… yeah… but if that was the only reason, I would have asked Thomas to come with me.”

Virgil winced as eyeshadow began to appear on Patton’s face. “Then what’s your reason?”

“You’re hurting, Virgil. And you’re my friend.” 

“Patton, this is very... sweet... but there’s nothing you can do,” said Virgil. “Go.”

Patton shook his head, walking over to where Virgil was sitting. “Well… maybe not. But maybe… maybe that type of help isn’t what you need right now.”

“...What?”

“I think maybe… can you tell me what’s wrong? Please?”

“I’m Anxiety, Patton. I’m anxious.”

“But… you’ve been extra anxious lately. Can you tell me why?”

Virgil sighed. Patton sat down next to him against the wall, ignoring the eyeshadow that was appearing underneath his eyes.

“I guess… I guess it’s… ugh… it’s the pandemic and everything that’s going on in the world right now,” said Virgil quickly. He let out a shaky sigh, and Patton noticed his hands begin to shake.

“Oh. Well… I can’t fix that. Obviously. But I can be here for you, okay? All of us are here for you.” 

“But… you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, silly. But I want to.”

Virgil paused for a second, then looked at Patton. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Always,” said Patton, grinning. “And the others are here for you too.” 

Virgil looked away, his hands shaking rapidly. “Oh. O...okay.”

“Aww, c’mere,” said Patton. He reached for Virgil, then paused, his eyes wide. “Wait, I didn’t ask. Are you angry at me? Oh no. I did a bad-”

“Patton. It’s fine. Just get it over with,” said Virgil. Patton grinned, wrapping his arms tightly around Virgil. Virgil paused for a moment, then hugged him back. The two of them hugged each other in the dark room, and Virgil slowly stopped shaking.

“Alright. Well. I should probably tell the others what’s going on,” said Virgil.

“If you feel comfortable, sure,” said Patton. “Also, I really need to get out of here.” Virgil nodded, and Patton began taking deep breaths until he was out of the room. The two of them rose up into Thomas’s apartment. Thomas startled, looking up at them.

“Ugh, I hate the rising up thing. I’d rather just appear,” said Virgil.

“Virgil!” said Thomas. “You came back!” Logan and Roman rose up after a moment, looking at Virgil nervously.

“Yeah,” said Virgil. Everyone looked at him expectantly. “I… I shouldn’t have yelled at you guys earlier. I’m sorry.” 

Roman looked at Virgil, startled. “Okay, what happened? Why are you suddenly apologizing?” 

“Jeez, no need to be so suspicious. I just had a talk with Patton, that’s all.”

Everyone’s eyes darted over to Patton. 

“...Why is everyone staring at me?”

“Oh, sorry Patton,” said Roman. “But… Virgil… can you  
tell us what’s going on?”

“Yes, this level of anxiety isn’t healthy,” said Logan. “For either of you.”

“... I... “ Virgil sighed. “It’s the pandemic. It’s just not... the best for me, you know?” 

“Ah, that would make sense,” said Logan. “I should have known.”

“Yeah, I understand. Is there anything we can do to…” Roman looked away, avoiding eye contact. “...help?” 

“Well… I don’t know, honestly. But… it’s… actually a bit better now that I’ve told you,” said Virgil.

“Great!” said Patton. “That’s awesome, kiddo!” 

“Yeah…” said Virgil, sighing.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t you just say that you were feeling better…?” asked Patton.

“I just…” Virgil sighed again, staring intently at the floor. “Thomas… I’ve been unfair to you. I haven’t been making enough of an effort to keep you from getting on the wrong side of Logan’s curve thing. I’m so… I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Virgil, don’t worry about it! It’s not a big deal, everyone struggles with that sometimes. And if the current situation is making you nervous, I want to help you with that. Not just for me, but for you, too!” said Thomas. 

“Oh, well… thanks, Thomas.”

“Of course, Virgil. Now what do you say we finally make a video?”

“It’s about time,” mumbled Roman. 

“Alright. And, uh… thanks, guys,” said Virgil. As Thomas turned on the camera, he looked at his anxious side, who gave a small nod. 

“Hey, everyone, this is Thomas! I was going to do an eco-friendly intro, but I guess I didn’t… planet!” 

Virgil stifled a laugh behind the camera, and Patton laughed loudly. 

He was safe.


End file.
